Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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