awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
