you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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