All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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