Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
