so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
porn star boner night. come get it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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