I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
