DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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