he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
