I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
