I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
