I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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