watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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