so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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