But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
