Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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