If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she smelled like a LAN party
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
