escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Say something about gay babies.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
