the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
