Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
