WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
