thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
