I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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