OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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