I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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