The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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