Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
