google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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