Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
