I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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