let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
