If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
