Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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