Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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