Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
