just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
