What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
