No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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