Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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