I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
