I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Randomize
