Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
