Already got asked if we're dating
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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