Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
