My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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