what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
