I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
