White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
