the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
