we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
